Some fun facts about MY working career:

Once, I got to mix napalm with Jay Schue. Probably that isn’t legal. But that campfire lit pretty well despite the rain soaked wood! Also, I got to watch Terry Clark getting electroshock therapy (self-induced) in his easy chair. Yikes.

At Izzy’s I got fired when I took a $4 tip after a waitress was going to stiff me after I had bussed an entire banquet room full of leftover Izzy flotsam and jetsam. Then, being a tad tired of that happening I called her a bitch. The assistant manager, fully afraid of the she-devil in question, fired me for doing what anyone would do.

At Taco Bell I often was made to take lunch at the very beginning of my shift. I also had to work for a guy who didn’t like college students. And Andy Yost came to taco bell a lot. My pride suffered tremendously.

In Korea I taught kindergarten kids who responded better to me swinging them around in centrifuge style. That was fun having a captive audience. Fun, I say until that one kid’s arm popped painfully out of its socket. And sure enough I, the white devil, was blamed.

Today at Mister Donut, I tried to get out of a second bag, coupons, tape and various other packaging. The donutress wasn’t having that though and glared at me as her spool o’ potential garbage went untouched.

In Asia, they give you a bag for a pack of gum. Japanese parcels actually outsize American ones, until you unwrap it. And unwrap it again, cut the ribbon and finally unwrap the cellophane bubble in which your object rests afloat cushiony sea of Styrofoam peanuts.