When in doubt, point them out!

Let's differences!

Part of my job as an "internationalizer" is to stand in front of classes and open the door to their curiosities. Here are some things they reacted to:

1. Today a student saw that I was wearing wool socks, as I had to stand on the cold gym floor for the closing ceremony. being a smart one, she zeroed in on the hole near my left big toe. She then proceeded to erupt into an orgasm of giggles. At first I thought she had had an episode of diarrhea by how much she was convusling but then I realized she had to point out something negative about me, and the sock filled that need quite well. In the defense of my woolies, they are warm and toasty. Also, feet are too big to find cozy replacements here in Wa country. Plus they were a Christmas present from my sister, which adds to their aura all that much more.

2. A few weeks ago, I had a cold and the nose was running full bore. Add a bounty of chalk dust (why chalk is still king in a 9 year old school is another issue altogether) and I was sneezing up a storm. It was about as entertaining for the kids to watch me as it is for me to ride the trains here and watch the Japanese public mine for nose and ear nasties as they groom their way to their respective destinations.

I can remeber as a kid we tried to be mean to substitute teachers. That concept doesn't seem to be too popular in Japan, as people rarely take sick leave, or vacation for that matter. In this way it ends up that the sick, but nonetheless present teacher is valued more than the genkifying absent one.

And by the way, Merry Christmas to all those I know

Thanksgiving turned on its head... Mariyln Barrueta of Mclean, Virginia writes... First Thanskgiving? Virginia Thanskgiving Festival, Inc. claims that the first Thanksgiving was celebrated at what is now Berkeley Plantation on Dec. 4, 1619. That claim ignores the history of Don Juan de Onate, the first successful colonizer of the Southwest. In January of 1598, his colonists-an expedition of some 600 people- left southern Chihuahua and headed north. Three months later, they were met by the Manso Indians of the El Paso region, who guided them across the desert to the river crossing. There, on April 30, 1598, the colonists commemorized their arrival with a Mass and a great feast- thus a Thanksgiving celebrated in North America at least 21 years earlier than either the Virginia or Pilgrim celebration. (From an op-ed i cut out of the Taiepi Times in Nov of 2004)

WWYD?

What would you do were you in my unkempt, rather ruined size 13 tennis shoes?

Last August I started a new job. In September I was "farmed out" to my first base school. The teachers there (1/3 of them) took me to this nice Indian restaurant. The food was good, even if I was severely constipated at the time.

Anyway, about five months later (today) I get this request to pay my share of the bill for the aforementioned dinner. While the $40 US share is a fair bit to charge the welcomed, it is for these reasons I am irked concerning this matter.

One, five months is rather tardy to give someone a bill for a meal long digested, flushed and forgotten.

Two, if you invite someone, especially someone from another country who has just arrived to work with you, would that not imply it is a treat? That is coming from my perspective. If an American were to wine and dine a Japanese executive, would the US side not foot the bill for all the ballyhoo?

Drop me a line and tell me what you think.

I know this guy. We'll call him TTAM to protect his privacy. I thought it would be cool to show off his photo talent by linking his stuff below. Thanks TTAM for your inspiration.

http://moonstationecho.com/gallery/index.html

He also has a journal, updated whenever his employer, a giant neon bunny, frees him from its' grasp.

But, I'll give you this admonishment: It is prone to a bit of sappiness.

Nyar

Concept Art: Exploring the concept of conceptual concepts This I picked up at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Taipei: "meta: more cpmprehensive: transcending- used with the name of a discipline to designate a new but related discipline designed to deal critically with the original one." "This work utilizes the interplay of light and shadow cast by the projection of architecture works onto different media, juxtaposed with the movement and silhouette of the audience, to create a semblance of dream-like reality, that questions our perception of being and space." "The experience is an abstract of the real- a constant shift between micro and macro, part and whole, ephemeral and perpetual, that echoes the allegory of the Dream of the Red Chamber." "Truth becomes fiction when fiction's true; Real becomes not-real where the unreal's real." I have absolutely no idea in what concrete way this could be useful to the layperson.

Quick factiods about the queen of cute, Hello Kitty Nickname in Japan: Kitty Chan Birthplace: London, England in 1970. Apparently, London was the tourist hotspot before Japan colonized Hawaii. Pets: Kitty has a pet, er, kitty. Its' name is Chami, a Persian cat. It looks like a real cat but with Hello Kitty's head fused to a real cats' body. Products: thousands...

Sticker Fun....................


I went to this eclectic place called tokyu hands and made a few purchases for the kiddies.
Some of the stickers are printed with some English words. Here are some that caught my attention:

1. I want to see strange people in south and north countries. Accompanying this is an image of a pig in people's clothing

2. I'm ghost

3. Let's play bowling. This I understand, English grammar is tuff!

4. Mountain. There are nature recieving us gently and nature rejecting our tresspass
persistently.

Also, I bought some glossy Iranian flag stickers. These are hard to find in America.

A Eulogy for a beloved man.

He was 88, a commendable age for a man. He lived a life some would say typified the american dream: He was a businessman and later raised cattle and gravenstine apples on the fertile but arid plains of northeastern Oregon. He watched his town dissapear as it was flooded by the completion of The Dalles dam across the Columbia in 1960. He weathered rock-bottom wheat prices during the late Depression years. He taught himself to fly and had hoped to be a pilot during World War II, but instead served in the Navy. He later enjoyed flying the 600 kilometers between his farm in Arlington and his beloved beach house near the California border in Brookings. He was such a hard-working and kind fellow, perhaps one of everyone's favorite people.

He was the family guardian, and he looked out for my Grandma when she needed the comany or in need of assistace. Walt was an intrigal part of a very close-knit family who has for the most part splintered and its elder members transcended into the next world.

But growing elderly was difficult for him, especially after his wife, Florence died while I was in college at UO. She was his soulmate, and hopefully their spirits are in some cosmic way reunited. He had the strength of an ox and the heart of a blue whale. Not to steal any quippage from Tom Brokaw (well I will, actually) but he was a member of what will probably be seen in history as the greatest generation.) By that of course I mean that his fellow veterans gave the greatest sacrifice and propelled themselves into the highest standard of living America has ever seen.

The next time I find myself driving the lonely, deserted and expansive portion of Interstate 84 between Portland and Boise, Idaho, the memory of my great uncle will be a powerful one. His was an example of how others could be living, have lived and if the world tries to save itself, will have the chance to live in the future.

Rest in peace, we miss you already.

------------------------------------------------------------
Below is his obituary published in the Oregonian, the biggest newspaper in the Northwest, save for some Seattle ones...

Walter M. Hulden
Saturday, December 11, 2004
A gathering will be at 1 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 12, 2004, in the Vancouver residence of Bryan Bickmore for Walter M. Hulden, who died Dec. 8 at age 88.
Mr. Hulden was born Jan. 28, 1916, in Salem. He owned and operated Hulden Motors in Arlington and later was a wheat farmer and orchard owner. He moved to Gresham in 1993. In 1939, he married Lorraine St. Louis; she died earlier. In 1953, he married Florence Yost; she died in 1998.
Survivors include his daughters, Leslie Hoffer and Peggy Oliver; sons, Richard, Bill and Jim; six grandchildren; and three great-grandchildren.
Remembrances to the Oregon Lions Sight & Hearing Foundation. Arrangements by Rose City.

Identity crisis on the North American continent:

http://edition.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americas/12/07/canada.tshirts.ap/index.html

First, this idea is not new, it is just more popular now. I have pretended to be from Canada because it suited me at the time and besides, they are a unique, enlightened nation in no way similar to the United States. Their cars are small and none of them are obese.

Secondly, I've met lots of ugly personalities and there isnt any pattern to their nationality except to say that there are dolts everywhere you live and travel. Airports, more than any other place seem to have a concentration of such folks. I feel that scruitinizing American tourists is popular, easy and comes across as quite vindictive. I, as one of the whole frappuchino of ethnicity that is the USA tend to claim Canadianistic nationality if asked.

This may sound like I am being indirect, avoiding my American guilt, etc. but as time goes by and for a multitute of reasons many people want to see harm done to America. That's my take on the ever-increasing hijacking of the Maple Leaf by non-Canadian travellers.

And getting back to the question of what it is to be Canadian... I have not fielded this to many friends of the Canuck persuasion, as I feel it makes them uncomfortable. Not that that's bad but it is better in my experience to limit the number of hornet nests one kicks over in a day.

And you don't have to be that well-read to know facts aboot Canada.
For example I knew that their PM is Paul Martin and he lives in an Igloo with that wily penguin Chilly Willy. Enough cultural understanding for one day!

Books that might just be a hit. I thought of them first, though so paws off..: 1. Bran Bran (named after a Kobe flyer aimed at brand-name fashion-themed chickies) Girls and high-heeled boots: A tourist's guide to Sannomiya. 2. The cup runneth over: An optimist's guide to Japan's bounty of potential social revolutionism. 3. The human tape recorder: A peek into team teaching theory and practical applications. 4. Chotto... A guide to all things conversationally taboo in Japan 5. Let's stereotyping: A citizen's guide to rehashing misunderstandings across the cultural spectrum.

Three degrees...


Good: The aniticipation of a reunion with a loved one after a long flight.
Bad: Being asked every time whether one can speak a particular language, when it is infact a very irrelevant question.
Worst: A 1.5 hour train ride for 40$ that only covers a distance of 35 miles.

Good: Workplace harmony and cooperative spirit.
Bad: Harmony based on problem avoidance and fear of being different or non-conformist.
Worse: Tripping up on the pride factor and letting it affect all portions of one's life.

Good: Proper hygene
Bad: Grooming and related habits while nayr eats his lunch
Worse: Habits which make others want to wretch be performed in front of everyone.

Good: 8:30 a.m., the promise of a new day and the chance to inform others
Better: 4:15 p.m., leaving the office after suffering a crushing defeat of the former
Best: Time with the Mrs.

Good: Wendy's
Better: Subway
Best: Pike Street Brewery in Seattle, Washington

Good: Non-Smoking public places
Also good: cleaner-burning diesel fuels
Also Also good: LNG Busses and hybrid cars. Emphasis on short, liviable commutes

Good: Baggage class
Better: Economy class (varies by who you ask)
Best: Business class

Power is a dangerous thing because those that cannot handle it usually end up with it.

The best way to get perspective is not to avoid your problems. This requires the foresight to realize how your actions come across to others, however.

Bang your head against a wall, or supervisor, and they might begin to listen to you, or you might die of a brain hemorrage. Whichever comes first, the wall doesn't become less stubborn or self-absorbed.

This the quagmire rekrap finds himself in at present.

The man: useless
The solution: Perspective
The challenge: Doling out the former.
The outcome: Stay tuned

A ru-ru is a ru-ru is a ru-ru.

My pal from Jamaica, (or was that South Africa?) well, nonetheless he mentioned aboot the idea of repetition and job duty ingrained in Japanese culture. So I did some thinking and thought to add to his perplexion at being given 8 business cards by the same guy. Personally I would draw some less than pleasant comments and hand them back to him on the next visit...

A Study:

It must be Japanese are born to waste. being on an island, one would hope that conservational impulses would be ingrained but no no no that is not the case. Riddle me this batman, if Japan runs out of paper it can get more from Canada, Russsia or some other non-cemented place or so goes the urban legend found on www.bigdaikon.com
(among others, most of which are circulated by us non-Japanese sans perspective, but anyway...)

Ever bought a pack of gum? Well you get a bag. Want a bottle of tea? Here's a completely unrecyclable bag for ya! It is a social norm, all purchases must be bagged. Same goes for receipts. It is the law. Sometimes I feel as though I was back in Bushville and just bought some Periodicals from a special bookstore and a fifth of Jack Daniels from the corner store.

But, legit or otherwise Japan bags its consumer goods like no other place I've been. 100% recyclable (Plastic bags are usually High Density Polyethalyne or HPDE #2 or #4) but here in the archipeligo it is 100% burnable. Its a rule and that is the sticking point. They clerks get so nervous when I refuse a bag, as if it some sort of test of their abilities, as if someone will fire them for not forcing a bag upon me. To them I say, learn something from our unusual and suspicious non-Japanese ways.

Japan has ciggy shops and vending machines across Japan. Tobbacco is cheaper and more readily available here than anywhere (from a limited number of places I've been). The age to smoke is 20 years old, the same threshold for alcohol and becomming a bonified adult.
But lately a freind witnessed a student being busted for smoking by two teachers, themselves smokey joes. So how can two teachers who are chimneys themselves punish a kid for following their bad example? Well the rule says not to smoke, not because it is dangerous and an public scourage that kills millions annually, but that it is the rule. A rule is not open to discussion in Japan, rules are to be obeyed while keeping mum. And the cycle of wasted chances for social reform, for longer lives and for teachers to set good examples, wasted. All because of an inability to summon up the courage to speak up for what is logical and better for everyone.

I really need a smoke. Luckily, there is a cigarette vending machine across the street from school! Location, location, location. And the bonus is they are only about $1.25 a pack.

Formosan Phun

I noticed lot of bits about the place are different than other cities and nations here in NEA. And different is one reason I decided to try on Taiwan to see how it fit as a place to spend a week.

Restaurants close up early so if you want dinner at 9 p.m. in Taipei, the island's sprawling capital, you would be SOL, as Taiwanese eat and close shop prior to 8p.m on average. In the morning they fancy the fried egg as a main in their diet. Stinky tofu is the afternoon snack of choice. 7-11 has a big presence on the island and one big seller is the egg, but pickled and blackened due to its cooking process.

Transit was refreshingly straightforward in Taiepei and very refreshingly cheaper than Japan, but on that note what place isn't? The stone floor of CKS International Airport was not camera friendly, as it turns out but no surprises there.

Spotted some giggle-inducing Japanese tourists, always fun to watch their antics as they group themselves around non-Japan. Details of three cases follow:

1. Old I am going to rupture my bladder man: Regardless of nationality, the old man having to find a toilet is amusing. When my time comes hopefully I will be able to laugh, too. The frantic dancing, pointing, red face and pointing to his bladder region was the best part.

2. The elevator crew. Imagine an elevator. Okay, now add 12 college kids with no idea of timing, others or a plan. Add a choice of 11 floor buttons on the controls. Insert dissarray and Nayr standing in the corner wanting them the bubonic plauge to befall them all (swiftly). It was something to see. More than half go clonked by the elevator doors at several possible exits.

3. They don't speak Japanese in Taiwan? Man and Woman:
At a hotel in Taipei I was checking in and this middle aged couple started firing away in rapid Japanese and the Chinese hotel clerk asked them in Japanese "Do you speak some English, because I cannot follow your Japanese..." To which the couple replied: "Ehhhh???? Gaigokugo wakanai, muzukashi ne... which translates to: Foregin languages are too difficult and I don't understand them. Note the genuine aura they couple sent off, that the could not be bothered to even try. I laughed but I felt sympathy for the clerk, who made a genuine effort to be polite and communicate.

TAIWAN

Today I was in a bar this restaurantuer recommended.

So as I drink this girl asks if I wanted to order a heniken.

Then Anne murray was playing over the pa. SO here is the theme to my evening.

With a combination of skunky beer and Anne Murray, you just can't lose...

Weary traveler needs sleepytime

Here's a surprise for your Monday:

Old
Dirty
Bastard

of Wu-Tang Clan fame has died at the tender age of 35.
With a name like Old Dirty Bastard, it is pretty surprising he didn't join the ranks of the Ghetto Centurians.
I will admit, however I have listened to Wu-Tang while on road trips, but I never succumbed to their crossover marketed Wu-Wear clothing line. Dems tuff"#$$%&''" pants, yo!

The world is such a cool place. There is so much to do on our course to eventually playing an integral role in the nitrogen cycle. I have not really traveled a lot but I like one aspect of travel in that you get a stamp in the ole passport each place you go, the notable exceptions being the US (well for us Americans) and apparently, the EU.

Cambodia puts a likeness of Ankor Wat on its entry/exit stamp, which is way cool. Japan, while it should use a pikachu or a geisha likeness, prefers a drab secret sleuth puzzle sticker which only they immigration folks at
Sukatorando Yarudo can decipher. So here is what I propose: in the interest of world harmony and making standing in long queues more enjoyable, new themed passport stamps. Here, in honor of Cambodia's uniqueness, are my ideas. Consular officers out there, feel free to pass this along to the right folks.

Country and Passport likeness suggestion

Canada: Either an igloo or Bullwinkle
US: A big mushroom cloud with a certain non-Christian symbol in the middle of it. The Americans that this would offend probably don't have a passport so no worries there.
North Korea: What else? A likeness of Kimie.
Mexico: A corona or tequilla bottle
England: A likeness of Elton John, circa 1972
Germany: A scrath n' sniff stamp that smells like either Wienerschnitzel or Apfulkuchen, changes seasonally.
Korea: That Winter Sonata Guy, Yoon-san.

Hermit crabs get free housing on Japanese beaches

....................................

Well on NHK (Japanese public TV) last night I watched a very cool but very disturbing segment on the plight of Japanese hermit crabs. Japan is home to dozens of species of crabs in all hues and shapes. While the big ones are being overfished and consumed on crab-eating theme tours the hermit crabs are suffering habitat loss as Japan's Land and transportation ministry paves serene beaches. While fed to the public as a way to fight evil mother nature, concrete beaches actually speed erosion.

So imagine crabs trying to climb up a 5 meter concrete wall with their lives, and the survival of their species depending on it. The other part was how crabs find bottle caps and other plastic refuse and use it as a kind of ghetto-fied shell. A few crabs in the show were viewed drowned in tar balls leaked by large oil tankers in pacific shipping lanes and unluckily washed up on beaches in Okinawa prefecture's beaches.

It was a dissatisifying show, but stirred my activist urges once over.

Unify This!

49% don't want unity, they wanted you to lose!

The effectiveness of the government to unify will indeed be tested.

The powers in DC can unify us by cutting their losses in Iraq and work toward mending fences.

Stopping 5-star catered lunches for Halliburton contractors could better be spent on armor plating for vulnerable soldiers and their vehicles.

But then, we could come up with 101 ways the Bush team could have been effective before...

Stay tuned.

W is the big cheese again after a squeaky but nonetheless clean victory by getting 274 electoral votes to Kerry's 254. So last time it was Florida that sealed the win, this time Ohio was at center stage.

I hope you remember that you heard me say it first: in 2008 Bush will again be re-elected as the supreme ruler of the American Republic. 4 years on, the patriot act will have been furthered to include an identeifying microchip for all citizens and a flashlight with special bulb to cut through the noxious air repealing the Clean Air Act created.

But on the plus side, severely obese people will have to pay tax for taking up more than the average amount of space. Also, they wont live as long as their blubber will soak up too many toxins from the genetically altered heavy metal tained food chain. But for corporations it will be clear sailing.

And yes, Omaha and the heartland, believe in your Bush, those terrorists are keeping up nights devising a way to take away your chicken fried steak and Ford Excusions that truck your fat selves around at $100 a tank.
Don't fret, Dick and Bush are at the helm. Unless you are North Korea, Sudan, Iran, Yemen, Palestine, Wildlife, Water Quality or the Economy, you have nothing to worry about!

Ever been in this position before?







I am planning to help construct housing for disadvantaged families in Malaysia come March 2005.
The thing is, I may not be able to afford it! How is that for a pickle to be in.
I am bought in to the cause and purpose, but I have loans and a savings plan to keep to.
I suppose I should endure and participate despite my purse strings.
And that is all for now.

Listening is Key

Today a student came in to the teacher's room visibly injured.

I witnessed the pandemonium and hoped for the worst.

And I was not dissapointed, it turns out a giant raven took a nip out of his wrist.

Killer crows! Somebody call NHK. Baby bears have been trumped.

But....

Actually I misunderstood the vocab.

My ears: "ca-la-su" (Japanese raven)

Their mouths: "ga-la-su" ( Glass)

So...

The student fell onto a piece of glass...

I thought the contrast is pretty interesting: inert glass pane and agile, sharp-beaked raven with a bloddlust for middle school wristmeat.

An update: The total number of servicepeople killed in the "war" has topped 1250.

http://www.newdepression.com/onethousandcoffins/

So many tragic deaths...

Ways to say "I'm going to work"

1. Off to the salt mines

2. Let's cubicle

3. Descend into a fiery hell

4. Time to visit the #$%&$-ers I'm forced to tolerate eight hours a day

5. The place I'd rather not be

6. Well, I get to avoid my wife and kids, so all is not lost

7. Plug in the game of paper-shuffling

8. Step into the world of two-legged ants

9. Win the bread

10. Pick up some free (insert your company's product here)

Favorite teacher's room behaviors

1. Hocking a greenie (usually at lunchtime)

2. Clipping toenails into the sink

3. Smoking (Thankfully they have a smoker's den for that)

4. Scuffing feet.

5. Listening to very boring speeches by the Principal

6. Spending 12 hours a day in the school

7. Talking across each other, rather than getting up and walking to the others' desk

An impasse

.....................


In my ongoing struggle against sameness I have found myself all tied up in knots. Knots comprised primarily of frustration. My big idea for "culture day" was nay-sayed due to my goal of collecting a donation to better the lives of poor people. The donation would have been 50 yen each, or about 45 American cents.

Remember that amount of yen wont buy you any kind of useful item. But multiply that by hundreds of upper-middle class students and some genuine capital could be generated. The funds would have gone to buy cement bricks, plywood and plumbing supplies for hard working, yet impoverished Malaysian Borneans. I am using my precious 10 days of holiday to volunteer. The activity was like a copy of jeopardy! But using hint cards and colored flags to put the world map into relative perspective for my students.

The reason given for the rejection of my plan was that giving money is against the rules. Well my employer dislike change and the powers that hanko (Japanese name seals) have not used the chance to teach philanthropy to the students. With the buzzword in Japan being internationalization, they have far to go to actually follow through in a genuine way.

I just hope my school reconsiders. By not liking or using my ideas at such events and in class, aren't they just future marginalizing my purpose for being here? Japan is after all the richest country on the planet, but surely not among the most generous, worldly or flexible.

Part of a language is having the cultural background to teach it properly. Japan's Ministry of Education needs to take a long, hard and focused look at that; otherwise it is just going to be business as usual. The method of accentuating differences between Japanese and non-Japanese and the practice of hiring English teachers who can only speak Textbook should end.

If you want to be inflexible and fundamentally against making compromises, Washington is hiring.

Auf deutsch, bitte...


Das ist mein erste Blog auf Deutsch. Entshuldigung, meine Damen and Herrn. Ich kann deutsch gut gescreiben. Ja,...

Guten tag! ich heiBe Ryan Parker. Ich bin ein Lehrer von Englisch. Wer ist Parker? Das bin ich. Ich wohne in Japan.

Mein Teleofonnummer ist 011-81-90-1960-5521. Ruf mir an, bitte schon!

Mein Postleitzahl ist 658-0053. Mein Haus Addresse ist: Kobe Higashinadaku sumiyoshiyamate 5-8-8.

Ich komme aus Amerika, aus Portland. Ich bin verheiratet und habe kein Kinder. ich spreche nur einige Deutsch, aber Ich habe fur drei jahre an der Universitat studerien.

Mein Geburtstag ist am Dezember 28, 1976.

Vielen Dank,

Herr Parker

Pride (And fatness)

I am not a church-goer. I am not really that in touch with the spiritual world. But, i do tend to agree with many of the values that religous groups support. One is the idea of too much pride being bad. I just was reading what my SA pal had written about his students bragging about various acts of indescretion that might just be considered a Class C felony back in the lower 48. Anywho, the point that entered my mind is how many situations pride causes one trouble. So let's take a closer nonpartisian look at the negatives of prideful excesses.

1. Boasting about skills you don't have. We are all guilty of this, it is called "dating."

2. Pride in relation to doing harm to others. Such as: "Wow, I just scammed a bunch of senior citizens by crafting their dentures out of recycled asbestos!"

3. Pride in being a lazy nothing

4. Pride relating to obsesity. See these "Fat and Proud" links...

http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Strand/4683/rnghm.html

http://www.lyricsdomain.com/19/steriogram/fat_proud.html

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,63698,00.html

Penguin or Veep?

Is is just me or does Dick Cheney's smile look a little too much like The penguin's from Batman...

You know, the character played by Danny DeVito?

Girls, be tiny!


Me and the Mrs. stumbled upon the underground (literally) doll curio shop in Kobe. For sale are doll parts of all sizes and busts. The idea is to buy a doll to your preferences, and then paint it up to suit your own tastes. We visited several and decided the dolls fall into one of these broad categories:

1. Proper Barbies
2. Busty types fashioned as either: cheerleeder, preteen nympho or lesbian.

Doling further into the world of Otaku (japanese concept of self-isolation and lack of meaningful interaction with humans) we visited an etchi (dirty) comics shop to catch up on what Snoopy and Garfield have been up to.

imagine our surprise when we found all the comics were sealed and of the eeeewww and yuuucky persusaion. The shoppers parusing were all about low-20's and male, and some gave off a Dhamer-esque vibe. Now I am a certified nerd, so not being judgemental here but this place was scary with a capital YIKES!

Our favorite finds of these comic books and DVD's included:

1. High school cheerleader and eager pooch. (Probably a few laws being broken here...)
2. Best friends share their maleness while on a dirtbike. (uhhh....)

The area we went was on the 2nd floor of Sannomiya's CenterGai.

thanks, but a solid-steel NO THANKS!!!

Drones to your hive!

I read the transcript of the third presidential debate. I have to say Kerry's body language was certainly more positive. Bush seems to act annoyed, this caters to the arrogance (and confidence in himself) about him that so many God-fearing TV-believing American voters love him for. Before I lived abroad I never realized how unbalanced the media in the US is and how much propaganda the cable news channels crank out. I am not saying I am ashamed of the place; just the opposite. The potential for a fair, equal political system is just boiling over, but those with the ability are struggling mightily to keep the lid upon such efforts. If everyone shot up their TV's then control would be near impossible to maintain.

I am mixed in my feelings in this election year. Why don't self-made successes enter politics? Probably they aren't interested in the same old, tired games and dead horse issues that people have been taught to think (by having the issues emotionalized) are important. Its a wonderful nation with so many warm-hearted people. Those voices aren't being heard, and that is really something that needs to be addressed. November 2 is a monumentally important election, for trust in the government and rekindling the flame of international cooperation and stability.

Inane Cellophane

Packaging is sometimes excessive. Remember Christmas morning? A box within a box covered by wrap, ribbons and a cellotape bow? Showy products I suppose are a better impulse buy than their plainer cousins, but at what cost?

Japan is the king of individually wrapped snack. You can buy a bag of 200 cookies the size of American quarters, all in their own Ryan-proof wrapper. So what you end up with is a mound of these completely unrecyclable bits o' refuse and a furrowed brow. Now before you accuse me of being an environmentalist fundamentalist terrorist exhibitionist, I will admit that it is unreal to expect everything to be recycled. But how about 20-30 percent? That's a pretty good goal, no?

Here are some highlights of individually wrapped things I have found around the globe (but mostly in Japan and Costscos in the US, Korea and Japan):

Individually wrapped sunflower seeds (3-5 seeds per package)

individually wrapped chocolate covered raisins (5 raisins per package)

Individually wrapped cookies (mentioned above)

Individually wrapped breath mints and chicklets of gum

Individually wrapped Chocolates. (the box was sold in a thick vinyl bag and shrink-wrapped.

All that plastic thrown into the bin is incinerated and released for we humans to breathe in. Now that's progress!

A hot and steaming colony of grease....

What lacks at the Japanese versions of the following chain shops:

KFC: mashed potatoes and gravy. That's the only thing I liked from the place to begin with.

Dairy Queen: Dairy Queen (exception is Thailand and the Seoul International Airport)

7-11: Slurpees, nachos, wayward teenage punks and armed robbery suspects. The concept of the 52-ounce Supertanker fountain drink has also not caught on outside the US.

Dunkin Donuts: fresh-baked donuts. At DD in Korea, the donuts are okay but are centrally baked. This has the affect of making the donuts taste like ass. Not all is lost, however as they sell Kern's fruit nectar.

McDonalds: Fatty Americans suing you for making them (allegedly) eat to sickly excess.

Denny's: Everything except French toast and the giant yellow sign. That is pretty much the same.

The Ministry of Patriots...(and Veterans Affairs)

In South Korea they are post heinously honoring a Japanese lawyer who tried to assist Koreans during the Japanese occupation of Korea.

Now how about that... The Ministry of PATRIOTS? Good for them.

If only the US would properly look after and fund its own veterans. I used to work within a hospital complex housing the veterans hospital and hospice, and it was a place full of gloom, blank faces, lives shattered and the smell hospitals tend to have.

Vietnam's agent orange afflictions, Desert Storm's gulf war syndrome...What will be next?
Thank god we are ruled (well, for about 20 days more, anyway...) by Mr. Dick Cheney, proud recipient of 4 Vietnam service deferments, and GWB, Texas ANG deserter.

Veggies of Japanese ilk

Having fine conversation with chums yesters I realized how many things I eat now living off US soil that I would never have thrown to the stomach acid wolves prior to John Denvering it to Korea back in 2001. The following veggies are what I have become partial to:

Gobo, burdock root: This root (the name gave it away) is crisp and earthy-tasting. It goes well stir-fried with sesame oil and carrot shreds.

Goya, Okinawan cucumber: A dark green cucumber laden with warty ridges and valleys, this food totes a megawatt or two of your RDA's, with a sour, crispy taste to boot. Sneak this one into any wok-based stirfry and surprise those dinner guests.

Kuzu, pulverized kudzu root: Kudzu, the vine-based castaway from Japan, has pretty much taken over the entire southeastern US where nothing is keen to eat the stuff. So the kuzu root is mashed and then made into something like mashed potatoes.

Lenkon, lotus flower root: Resembling water chestnuts on crack with holes drilled in them, lenkon is probably the first Japanese vegetable I fell in love with. Slice, pan-sear and coat with a skosh of chili oil and you have found a weapon to keep in your culinary arsenal.

Smoke Em if you got Em:

I am about as anti-tobacco as they come, but the phrase describes the following situation almost perfectly.

I have always been to told to tone down my sarcasm and dry wit, that it would be my undoing and cause doors to slam shut in my face as I stumble miserably toward the inevitable gates of Hell.

Then, yours truly found a book that changed all that: It is called Ten Little Indians, by my favorite author and bone fida Native American, Sherman Alexie. He possesses these two qualities to great excess, while at the same time being a wonderful storyteller.

Inspiration? Perhaps. An "I told you so!" to all doubters I have crossed paths with? Most certainly...

BTW this book can be found at www.powells.com. Have a looky-doodle as that site blows the lid off what one expects from an internet-savvy independent bookseller.

The October 4, 2004 song:

A weary JTE came riding in today
Speaking jibberish and motioning "this way"

The ALT was stunned but ran into the fray
So he must teach English the Japanese way...

Yipee Ya yo, Yippie ya yeah...
English teacher in disarray...

I went to a chestnut farm.
The tourists are required to pick the chestnuts.
Thus, one must buy the chestnuts they have picked themselves, for no wage, from the farmers.

Never has there been such a great example of limiting labor overhead as this, at the kuli (chestnut) farm in Sasaeyama, Hyogo Prefecture, Japan...

POWERFUL POETRY, ALBEIT TACTLESS

The poem from page 38 of Ten Little Indians by Sherman Alexie, one of my favorite authors, and a Spokane native (quite literally).

Poverty

When you're poor and hungry

And you love your dog

You share your food with him

There is no love like this

when you're poor and hungry

And your dog gets sick

You can't afford to take him

To the veterinarian

You can't afford to put him gently to sleep

So your uncle comes over for free

And shoots your dog twice in the head

And buries him in the town dump.

Bob Dylan Visits Work:

Today I witnessed students learning Bob Dylan lyrics from "Blowin in the Wind."

How many r's and l's will we murder until we realize our accents are crap?

How much industrial waste will we dump until all the fish grow a third eye?

How many sheets of paper will it take until my coworker's desk spontaniously combusts?

........................

I saw Dylan live once, at my Uni's old ivy-infested gymnasium back in 98. he was wearing his back trenchcoat, and looked gonged. Par for the course, I suppose. The slightly more than pleasantly plump Van Morrison was also there, but he sorta mumbled having had a few boxes of franzia before the set. He was rolled offstage by some struggling-looking roadies after the show. My conclusion? I paid 57.50 too much for that ticket!!!

I just read Britteney's latest post and am disturbed. more on this later. He is at

http://nooit-bru.blogspot.com/

PS- I was not the fastest car on the block, however on my drag-race through the teen culture straightaway...

A Lawn, Lawn time Ago...

There is no grass at schools in Japan. Across the street from my school is a park. There is no grass in the park, either. In Japan, I have never seen a lawnmower or any similar piece of lawn-mowing equipment. The green in Japan is confined to rice fields, farms, temples and shrines. I am grateful for such places, but I want to know the mentality of being som completely anti-grass and anti-lawn.

Excuses so far that people have given me is that Grass is expensive!!!
My answer: So are are the unnecessary airports and expressways that Japan is building. Also, grass is free if donated, and care can be done via a push mower and many eager students.

What IS expensive is all the students having to have their clothes washed after playing in the "yard," the giant dirt and sand area outside every Japanese school. The dust and sand gets everywhere, and if something is dropped on the floor in the teachers room you can pretty much expect a layer of sand/grime/dust mix to adhere itself to the surface of the dropped item. Think about all the electricity, water, detergent used because students must get dusty and dirty on a daily basis. Plus, grass would reduce the harsh glare the "yard" creates and soften the landscape by providing something green.

Movie title themes in Nayr76's past week:

Girl Looking at a Pearl Earing: Returned from a jaunt to Mie Prefecture, maybe 100 miles east of my hovel in Kobe. Toured the pearl farming area of Ago Bay, which produces some great grey, white, and black pearls.
The cells which the oyster coats with its silica apparently come from the Mississippi River. Not exactly buying locally, but then neither are all the imported snacks I tend to ingest here, either.

Is Nothing Sacred?: Well actually, yes. One place in Japan that has been spared paving is the beautiful Ise Jingu. A Shinto shrine that has become sacred and sports guards from the Imperial Agency, Ise Jungu is unique in two ways. first, the main shrine is rebuilt every 20 years. There are several large sites with gravel, and while one temple stands, its replacement is being built. Surrounding the grounds are cedars probably more than 500 years old, as well as a nice stream and many sub-shrines paying homage to various gods, such as wind, animals and other nature dieties.

Mission: Typhoon Hysteria: A typhoon is crossing Shikoku and headed across the main japanese Island of Honshu. Now no group of people get caught up on weather like the Japanese. They can even talk about weather minus a water cooler and a styrofoam coffee cup. Until I see a spotted cow flying around in a funnel cloud, I am not going to become victim to fear's unrelenting icy grip.

Let's Pig!

or more accurately, Wild Boar.

S and I ran into a large specimin of Japanese wild boar last saturday night. It was rooting around a construction site near our apartment. maybe it was trying to bum a few ciggies off the sketchy constuction crew workers. Such people are usually in possession of limited*

1. Limited driving skills
2. Limited ability to not chainsmoke
3. limited ability not to be drinking by early afternoon
4. limited ability to not bang the combini door into Nayr on their midafternoon alcohol run.

On a much more positive side they do have giant baggy pants, Bon Jovi-era haircuts and burnt sienna skin.

Book first sentences spoilers, By Genre:

Mystery: Mr. X is really Joe Smith; he lives at 123 1st street and drives a 1959 red Mustang.

Romance: She felt his warm hands massage her tense shoulders, and then she realized the HE was actually her St. Bernard, Barky.

Thriller: The runaway jury has been found, as they were accidentally sequestered to a nearby Waffle House.

Sports: Interviewer: "Pete, its been 10 years...did you bet against Cincinnati?" Pete Rose: " in no uncertain terms, of course I did. A brutha has to make his bling bling, yo..."

Human Psychology Journal: After a grueling 5 years of field study, I have concluded that (amazonian Pygmy) girls just wanna have fun.

The fine folks at the NRA must be incontinent with glee, as the 10 year assault weapons ban has expired. I am not one to say all guns are bad, but in this nation hosting a dangerous level of antidepressants intake, is it really a good idea to make Uzis, AK-47's and other such guns EASIER to get a hold of? Indeed the NRA vote is important in an election year, but not reinstating this public safety law makes it seem like Columbine has been forgotten.

politically, it seems the American-Israeli partnership is as strong as ever...Uzi is an Israeli company, if you didn't know. Is the weapons trade really worth all the pain, anguish and death it causes? I guess that depends on your definition of justice and morality.

Some fun things I found at the Yuzawaya crafts store in Kobe: 1. A stamp with a smiling winged heart that is saying "fight!" 2. A sheet of stickers whose character is "Nyanko (cat) Burger." There are regular fast-food items such as a burger, shake, etc., but with the addition of a head, and sometimes body, of a cute, furry feline. 3. A sticker book. Here is what is printed on it: "A strawberry and an apple are liked to profit."

Grape World:

Just got back from the town of Miki, home to a grape farm. These purple beauties make themselves available to hungry-eyed tourists en masse, at the minimal price of $5 or so.

Basically, you get a few mats, scissors and a washing bucket. Then you are directed to a section of the vinyard and you eat as many grapes as common sense dictates. we ate enough to pay for the admission. The unique experience of being surrounded by grapes and other grape-devouring otherlings was, as you may guess, free of charge.

next on my fruit touring circuit shall be Mikan, or Japanese mandarin oranges. Those beauties, known as the cheapest fruit crop in Japan, are due to ripen in late November...

A fellow JET and I went on a great ramble in Shiga Prefecture last weekend. The name of the place is Yatsubachinotake, which translates to something like 8 waterfalls. It had rained the day before so the falls were at pretty high levels. It was the coolest hike I have done so far in Japan, but then I love a good waterfall hiking course. My hiking friend forgot his lunch, and we ran out of water. Both, I promise won't happen again.

An old gem from the archives...

This came from my old boss in Korea.

Dear Foreign teachers,

greeting with the second semester, we're glad to know you are teaching students with enthusiasm. Yesterday vice principal visited our office during his regular inspection of classrooms. He talked about two things. First, he said that teachers must be punctual about starting and finishing classes to make students study hard. Of course this is applied to all teachers including Korean teachers in this school. He wants teachers and students to be more serious about their duties, teaching and studying very hard now that we finished fantastic school festivals and enjoyable Chosok holidays. Especially, now is the important time for the third graders who are stressful but attentive on preparing for the College Scholastic Aptitude test which is just around the corner. So all the people in our school must try to help the third grade students pay more attention to their final preparations by making our school a good place for study hard. let's be more punctual on our teaching. Second, he said that teachers should be bore careful about turning off the electric fans in conversation rooms just before they go out of the rooms after class. It's also applied to all teachers in this school. So dont forget to control the fans in your rooms with more attention. good luck to all teachers.

From Mr. Kim.
-------------------

Important facts about this helpful motivational sheet which I recieved:

the "Assistant Principal." was actually an old, weak man who, after being surrounded by foreign teachers for 19 years, in fact speaks no English whatsoever. he does, however have a big black limosine and an old security guard who opens the said limosine's door for him.

We were not trained on how to watch the classroom fans with incresing attention, thus the need for this note.

The teacher who wrote this is called "The Dragonfly" By his adoring students.

This same teacher has never been out of Korea, thus he has not picked up on the concept of tact.

Well, anyway there you go, annals from my days at "the best" high school in South Korea.

Spent a long weekend in Korea and this was the highlight.
A group of us were having a BBQ meal next to some railroad tracks and a cross-dressing taffy seller came around. Playing bad music and sporting both a 5 O'clock shadow and a belly, he (she?) was quite a sight. Alot of us bought the taffy, it is pretty good stuff.

Other than that Seoul hasn't changed that much since I left Korea back in December 2003.

I know I am behind the times, but I just finished The Da Vinci Code.

In the book, the following ideas are presented:

1. Jesus was a mortal, yet did lead his life much like that depicted in the Bible.
2. He was wed to Mary Magdalene and she bore him a son.
3. Mary is actually the Holy Grail, being the long-sought after Sacred Feminine.
4. Within her tomb lies the TRUE story of her relationship with Jesus.
5. She's reputedly entombed under the Lourve, Paris.

Without getting too far into the moral side of these implications, it is a good read and I learned a lot of stuff about church archeology.

Let's Apartment!

After a brief search around Kobe, We found a new apartment. The walls are made of what appears to be clay.

I will add photos of it to my Webshots page.

Stay tuned, as we move in on August 1st.

Yesterday I played Battleship in German.

It was on and the dialouge went something like this:

Du hast mein Schiff gesunken! (ship)
Du has mein Kriegschiff gesunken! (battleship)
Du has mein Uboot! (submarine)
Du hast mein boot! (tug)

and finally.... Ich habe gewonnen! (I won!)

Humbler and less militaristic than the American version, for sure.

Believe it or not, I almost had to pay $ 2,470 for two COACH tickets on United Airlines to visit LA and Portland this summer. Luckily, I got my first choice, only paying $1,400 for the two of us. High season, indeed.

I had a conversation with a Balinese restaurant operator in our neighborhood while eating some of his saytay (peanut sauce drenched chicken on sticks). He had some good things to tell us about Bali.

Apparently in Bali, people stand very close to strangers when making small talk. I enjoyed the chat after realizing the concept of "personal space bubble" wasn't an aspect of his background.

He was a good fellow, and semi-fluent in Japanese after only 2 years of living here. He also has a Japanese wife. I take that as motivation to ratchet up my own speaking ability, after a brief sour gaze of jealousy passed.

Probably we were the only English speaking customers he had had in recently. During lunch we seemed to be the only customers at all, besides a Japanese girl taking Indonesian lessons.

T-Shirts seen in Kyoto on June 3:

1. Hope Was Love

2. Surf Swims Little Fruity

On a sign: Pizza Little Party

On a menu: Smoked Salomon

Books you might want to read, that I have recently read myself:

Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser

Tuesdays with Morrie (aslo a movie with the guy who is Homer Simpson's voice)

Tokyo Confidential by March Screiber

The Pugilist at Rest by Thom Jones (UK release)

The Prodigal Summer and The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver

Aquariums of Pyongyang: 10 Years in the North Korean Gulags by Kang Chul Hwan

My Year of Meat by Ruth L. Ozeki (about Japan)

Pecked to Death by Ducks by Tim Cahill (Travel Writing)

Basket Case by Carl Hiassen (UK Release)

Porno, Irvine Welsh (Trainspotting Sequel)

Dogs and Demons: The Fall of Modern Japan by Alex Kerr

The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason

The 27th City by Johnathan Franzen

Empire Falls by Richard Russo

Vernon God Little by DBC Pierce (OZ author)

When Broken Glass Floats: Growing up under the Khmer Rouge by Chanrithy Him

Listening for Coyote: A walk across Oregon's Wilderness by William Sullivan

Trust Us, We're Experts: How Industry Manipulates Science and Gambles with Your Future
By Rampton and Stauber

The Fourth Hand by John Irving

Fugitives and Refugees: A Walk in Portland, Oregon by Chuck Palahnuik (Fight Club Author)

If you know of any others that are fit for this list, let me know.

Last week I ate some wasabi and seaweed-flavored french fries at the chain called 1st Kitchen. Really tasty, actually.

Wasabi is the infamously potent Japanese Horseradish normally found between the rice platform and piece of raw fish that comprises most sashimi.

Wasabi went well with potatoes, although when I triend it mixed with vanilla soft-serve last summer during a visit to Mastumoto Castle, that was not as good of a match.

Here is the label of something I bought at a FLETS! 100 Yen Shop.
----------------------------------
Hiroco's Hard Biscuit!

Proud of Hokuriku

it is the biscuit with which the resistance to the teeth which built the delicacy of wheat carefully became brave. Have the delicious and great biscuit which colors your table gaily pleasing.
-----------------------------------------------

And who said shopping isn't fun?

Most travelers have realized that some frachises are multinational and pop up in the most unexpected places. When entering a familiar franchise, say 7-11, the similarities to items sold in the U.S. begins to fade.

For example, I have yet to find a Big Gulp, Slurpee or Hostess pink Snoballs anywhere in my fledgling travel experience. It is quite fun, in my world, anyway to pop round the 7-11 and see what local products are being sold. At Thai 7-11's I find their canned juices to be lovely, and in Korea, the banana-flavored milk tastes much better than it sounds.

While you will see familiar logos for American-based franchises in many countries, it is the differences in menus and what items are for sale that is tribute to different cultural preferences, and such difference are the gems of being able to discover unfamiliar places.

I thought I would take you on a virtual tour of my working neighborhood in Nishinomiya, Osaka. Lacking a webcam or such technical contraptions, I will just describe it for you.

Within a 5 minute stroll I can dine at: McDonald's, Starbuck's and AMPM.


On another(and certainly a non-hydrogenated)note, there is a nice public square with large cherry trees and wooden benches.

One thing I have realized is that since my arrival I have been reading Japanese books in the wrong direction. Books in English are published front to back. Not so in Japan, where one begins at the end.

Another fact you can say you now know.

You can, a wise local has told me, read from top to bottom vertically, beginning on either the left or right side.

On the train, however, many people tend to be seen reading quasi-porn comic books called manga.

Today I was perusing the local Hankyu Department store and saw a waffle stand. Belgian waffles in a variety of flavors. Not too titillating, except the name for the waffle stand was Mannekin. You know, the plastic folks who model clothing for you.

Perhaps this is where retired mannequins end up: as waffle filler!

In response to seeing the ABC nightline episode where all the names of the dead from the Iraq "war" were read, Our President tried to string together some words into a sentence. Not shockingly, he failed. Shouldn't the leader of the free world be tested to determine if he can talk like a normal, rational middle-aged adult? In all fairness, he mumbles and stutters less when he has the teleprompter.

Students across America should watch the Nightline episode, and honor the 738 men and women, most from poor backgrounds, who died for an administration full of men who in fact have never seen combat themselves, but are profiting immensely from the invasion of Iraq.

Isn't that ironic? Paul, Don, Dick and George being unprecedented mega-hawks while having never been put into harm's way?

Cram Schools: A Study

Here in Japan many parents have lost faith in the public education system, for any number of reasons that won't be meddled with here. The solution, say some is the cram school, also a big hit in South Korea. Students go to cram schools to learn test-taking skills, memorize facts, and naturally, to improve their odds at said standardized tests at their public schools.

Coincidentally, as I also finish work around 9 in the evening, so do a froth of pent-up, sugar fed youth burst forth from the neighboring building (yes, a cram school) causing pandemonium and the occasional startled senior citizen to gasp as crammers mow down unsuspecting bystanders in their bid for freedom.

Can you imagine finishing school at 9 p.m.? Stolen childhoods, lack of personality development, public nuisance, financially plagued parents succumbed to the elusive goals of competition and report card bragging rights. Oh, woe is the world where kids aren't allowed time to play anymore.

(Foryou language buffs, the Japanese word for cram school is "juku.")

Donuts and Smoking

One popular pastime in Japan is frequenting the Mister Donut chain, having a few cigarettes and enjoying what is basically the best source of fresh donuts in the Orient.

But this begs the question: Isn't smoking and eating donuts slightly dangerous? Some dieticians might even leap to say this environment is 100% anti-longevity...or perhaps 100% anti-artery.

To each their own, but I long for a day where the air at Mister Donut outlets is haze-free, so I can get down to business and enjoy my deep-fried ball of flour, sugar and a healthy coating of Carnuba wax.

Signed, a confessed donuteer...

Greetings: I am back after re-entering the working world. Let's job, as the Japanese say.

For those of you I know who have not traveled to Japan, here are a sampling of today's (April 17 and 18) headlines which you might have missed in the North American press...I have paraphased some of this so click the link below to get all the facts as they were seen in print.


Man arrested for using mirror to look up 15-year old girl's skirt.
A 43 year old peeper was spotted by a JR employee and caught him in the act, using a hand mirror.

In Japan, some JR (Japan Raiway) trains have "women-only" train carraiges for rush hour times, to discourage groping. There is a picture one of these train boarding platforms on my webshots page.


2 of 3 freed Iraq hostages want to return to Iraq soon.
Although the Japanese who were freed this week are back on Japanese soil, two made public a request to return to the turmoil to assist everyday Iraquis with reconstruction efforts.

The Japanese government however said something to the effect of 18 year old high school graduates should not, however well intentioned they ma be, travel to war zones. This was an indirect reference to one of the three freed hostages, a freelance writer.

North Korean Sailors caught with drugs

I would have to say par for the course there, until the North Korean economy produces something the world wants, they will have to stick to trade in herion, pot and possibly nuclear arms. The sailors in question were detained at a port of call on the western coast of Honshu port in Japan, and were taken into custody by local authorities. The volume of illegal drugs both carried, however was not significant.

Daily Mainichi:

12 year-old allegedly entices 7-year old to jump off 14-storey building.
The 12-year-old in question was detained by police for "guidance," and subsequently handed over to the juvenile court authorities. In Japan, minors 13 and under cannot be held legally responsible for their crimes.

The myth of a safe Japan has long been shattered, but seldom do these type of stories make it to the international media. While Japan is certainly safer than other regions of the globe, certain evils are now making headlines domestically that were formerlly taboo to report upon, including child abuse, sexual crimes, lack of parental discipline and childhood obesity.

Japan sufferes domestically with problems not noticed my international media, whom mainly choose to focus on Japan as a mystical Oriental oasis. The Japan model of business and capitalism has been mentioned in countless articles and books, but some of the uglies have been overlooked.

The myth of Japan as archepeligo of green isles, a quaint nation filled with temples and passive kind folk needs to be balanced with the realities of Modern Japan: paving of rivers, filling cities with noisy gambling(pachinko) halls, rampant governmental corrutption and raising and over-testing children whom, as a generation exhibit limited interpersonal skills, compared with their elders.

Ever wonder how many ickies are lying around on public transportation? You know the stuff: stray hairs, boogers, airborne dandruff and assorted other human-borne detritus.

If today's train ride to and from Kyoto today is anything to go by, the abandoned booger count is high. The train today hosted several booger-digging folks on their way to the Hanshin Horse race track in Nigawa, appeared mildly unstable, as most compluslive gamblers tend to be. As you might have inferred by now, several of them were seated inches from yours truly.

While everyone has the right to pick their nose, discretion when in public would be a favor to all.

On an undenaiably more positive note however, Japan's mass transit network is fast, on-time and your chances of having your wallet lifted or being stuck with a shiv here is lower than other large metro areas in other parts of the world. The safest I ever felt on a train was in Washington, D.C. No punk is going to mess with a train car full of Marines!

The coolest train is the "bullet," or Shinkansen, zips along at over 200 km/h which certainly is a step up from Amtrack, the long distance train service I used in the US. In its defense, Amtrack provides very helpful and friendly staff on its trains, but its network is not far-reaching, as train travel in America peaked in the 1950's, as the interstate freeway system was expanded.

Ever wonder where the "blue" in those toilet bowl cleaners goes? Consider that the next time you drink a nice big glass of tap water.

You are what you eat:

Sitting here being hungry, i was thinking of the past, and what I should NOT have put into my body over the years. Here is what I have come up with as I write this:

Those halloween wax vampire lips. I thought they were candy!

Velveeta; purported to be a "blend" of several cheeses. I want to know which ones, Kraft man!

All things gummi (gummi coke bottles are my favorite)

Popcorn topping; I can't believe that it's butter, cuz it ain't.

Circus Peanuts. Neither peanutty taste nor any odors found under the big top.

Jawbreakers, they should be called "multi-colored future dental work"

Mountain Dew. Increased my diabetes risk factor tenfold!

Fried mozzerela cheese sticks, as featured on the Shari's menu.
Super-sized french fries.

Added to the list today are:

All things Hostess, most notably Twinkies, Cup Cakes, Ho Ho's and those quasi-fruit pies.

Tokyo Station banana sponge cakes. Folks, that isn't real banana...

French fries with garnished with mayonaise, ketchup and mustard (tonight's dinner side dish)

Supersized Butterfinger. Mix in some crushed oreos and vanilla ice cream, and you get "dirt" cake!

Dots, the stickiest candy ever.

Lime flavored Tootsie Rolls. As you might guess, not made with real lime.

Banana and assorted flavor PowerBars. The inventor of these dainties (which found my way into my backpack on multiple occasions, due the 1.25 per meal price) recently died at age 51. So a PowerBar diet and marathons certainly do not mix, one could infer.

Kraft Handi-Snax, comlete with "real" pastureized process cheese food product. Also, Cheese Whiz and the cheese in the aerosol can.

In Lake Grove, Oregon there is a place called Giantburger. An original Giantburger had on it a1/3 pound patty, three fried eggs, several slices of bacon and the usual fixins'. I ate the whole thing, and then skipped the following meal.

Balls of butter and flour rolled in sugar. Also known as "bear claws" and "danishes."

High Season:

This concept goes like this: In Japan and Korea, most people take their vacations only at designated times, creating a crunch on the travel industry. The solution? travel costs double, triple and even quadruple the "low" season.

I am not much of an economist, but if you reduced the price, demand would increase, as more people take off-peak trips, more often. would this not be better that this gouging that goes on in summertime and around New Year?

In Japan there are heaps of old people and since flight bookings here average 65% in the low season, why not aim your ads at these pensioners? then they would not travel as much when the working world scrambles to book flights for their annual 3-4 day break.

Thus, low demand at peak times would prompt airlines to lower prices in line with lower demand.

Let me give you an example of the errors of this Hig/Low season policy.

A round trip ticket to Los Angeles from Osaka is around $400 in winter (low season) but goes to more than $1100 duing the summer high season. Which ticket would you prefer?

DAM IT.

Yesterday I had a nice rainy day to myself and I wandered around the fringe of Kyoto.

I was able to see a few streams and rivers which seemed, more or less natural. What a treat in Japan, where most "rivers" are concreted to the point that no natural riverbead remains. According to the Japanese construction ministry, however, this is done in order to "tame the hazards rivers present," or something to that effect. The mindset here, unchanged since the post-WWII era, is that damming or paving a river to prevent once in 100 or 500 year floods is seen as a public service, something to be proud of.

As Alex Kerr writes in his book on Japan, Dogs and Demons, only 3 of Japan's 115 rivers are undammed or unchanneled. This was from a book published in 2001.

So the market is ripe for rivers to be renaturalized and for trees to be planted to stabilize the new dirt river banks, if you know anyone influential in central Japan government, please pass this tip along...

Let's no writing:

While at an Osaka bookseller's the other day, I was writing down some basic hiking information from a book, when out of the blue a bookstore employee swooped out of nowhere to inform me that taking notes was strictly forbidden. So it must be inferred: in Japan, buying the book is the preferred method.

This served as an interesting contrast to my overseas bookstore-parusing experiences, as I used copied travel information in Korea all the time without the workers there batting an eye.

As it turns out, I ended up buying the book. Kinokuyniya Books, I bite my thumb at thee!

Aichi World Expo 2005: Exploring Nature's Wisdom

What an ironic slogan, as nearby, engineers have reportedly filled in one of Japan's last remaining large wetland/marsh areas in order to build structures and grounds for the Expo.

The Aichi Expo mascots, whose names I will add here later, look like a cross between Sesame Street's Oscar The Grouch and that green algea usually called "pond scum." So, not all is lost.

Plastic Demand:

The other day at the department store I saw a woman buying a loaf of bread. Her bread was packaged in no less than three layers of plastic, one of which was a thick, crinkly vinyl pouch, with a few twisties thrown in for show.

If you buy a bottle of beverage, you get a bag. And where do these bags end up? Well, as refuse in lakes and ponds, burned in incinerators, and taking up space in landfills. I was given a few canvas bags (which cost under a dollar each) and now I try to avoid receiving any extra bags when shopping. They also make great gifts, and last basically forever.

If everyone used fewer plastic bags less, imagine how much less litter and trash that adds up to...
Habits are easy to fall into, yet easy to dismiss when change is desired and perceived as doable.

I thought a good, productive thing to do here would be to create a list of things that I believe few people like. So review this list and e-mail me if you have anything that I should add or delete:

1. Hair clogs
2. 2000 flushes blue and similar products (does your toilet water really need to be blue?)
3. Oscar Meyer Gummi Hot Dogs and Hamburgers (desserts from the creators of baloney)
4. Wasps (what useful purpose do these things serve?)
5. Chernobyl. (Post- April 1986)
6. Forest monoculture (4 species are better than one!) Actually, this is only disliked by a subgroup.
7. Cream Bread (yes, shortening-based cream filled inside spongy baugette, a big hit in Korea)
8. Crude Oil Spills (oil-eating bacteria aside)
9. Mullets (sorry, Canada)
10. Nascar (Sorry North Carolina, both Virginias, Alabama and other fan bases)
11. Venomous Spiders and Snakes
12. Coach seats on planes (for people over 170 cm tall)
13. Air Canada bathrooms (economy class, anyway)
14. George W. Bush (Nascar fans excluded) (not to be confused with George H.W. Bush, or George H.W. Bush, Sr.)
15. 99 cent canned Salmon purchased in West Virgina. Perhaps I got a bad batch.
16. $ 10 for 2 passport photos at Kinko's
17. The McRib at McDonalds (remember when they found rat parts in them?)

As of late in Japan, JT, or Japan Tobbaco ( 64.5% government owned) has created a public reltations campaign to make smokers more aware of their actions. Nowhere in the ads aiming to get users to become "good smokers" does it mention that blowing smoke in others' faces is annoying, or that 30% of all cancer deaths in Japan are smoking-related. JT makes billions annually from cigarette taxes, which it then puts into low-interest (at a prime rate averaging 1%) loans to industry, which squanders the cash in innumerable ways... Isn't government wonderful?

In Japan, 30% of all cancer deaths are from smoking-related illnesses. (Statistics published in the Japan Times, April 9, 2004)

What some things could you do to improve the lives of others?

Here are some ideas...

1. If you have children, stop smoking around them.
2. Support a grass-roots cause in your neighborhood.
3. Vote in all local and national elections
4. If possible, alternate car usage with public transit or walking and biking
5. Give up your seat on the train to an injured or elderly person
6. When on vacation spend a few hours or days donating your time to a local cause.
7. Learn about another country or language. Share what you have learned with friends, and if possible visit there, spending money as locally as possible.
8. If facilities in your area allow, try to recycle your household trash.
9. Travel in off-peak times.
10. When hiking on trails do not take shortcuts. Such behavior erodes the soil and inclreases costs for land maintenance.
11. Do not build fires while camping abouve 4,500 feet. There is not enough fuel to fetilize the soil if humans burn it all.
12. Lose some weight.
13. Plant shade trees in your yard. grass is a very inefficient user of water. Oaks or Tulip trees provide good shade as saplings.
14. Use recycled tire rubber when resurfacing your driveway or sidewalk. Certainly softer and possibly cheaper than hiring an ashpalt contractor.
15. Lobby your state to create a bottle deposit law, if it does not already have one. Aluminum cans require lots of energy and fuels to produce.
16. Try to get to know your neighbors.
17. If you must own a gun, keep it unloaded and locked securely.
18. Use barbless hooks when fishing catch and release species.

After all the hooplah about modifying the Pledge of Alliegence in US schools, I have come up with a solution which should keep both the ALCU and the current administration happy.

Instead of reciting the controversial "One nation under God" clause, schoolchildren shall now be made to listen to Attorney General John Ashcroft's "let the eagle soar," made so famous on Letterman back in 2003. Patriotism at its best, for all parties involved.

At present I am studying behaviors such as handbag (purse) carrying habits.

The angle (between 45 and 70 degrees it seems) at which many Japanese women carry hand and shopping bags seems totally non-ergonomic and simply uncomfortable. The extended purse-toting hand does tend to widen one's profile, which you should watch out for in crowded venues, pray you break a nail or at worse, get a nasty cornea scratch.

The process seems to be a blending of fashion and pure habit. To be scientific I should try out my own purse, but alas I cannot as a man carrying a purse is just not on.

Perhaps I shall post some photos of different styles and let the masses tell me that they think. Stay tuned.

Welcome.

Here you'll find a collection of thoughts and experiences, though not in any particular order.

Nyar