I'll probably never.... Things I likely won't have to do, experience or force others to do in my remaining lifetime.

1. Tell someone to stop giving me grief, and instead, use a "communicative method."

2. Menstrate, but hey, eat enough GMO foods...you never know what might happen.

3. Start, or fund, an insurgency. But some of them are legit, as long as the cause is legit and all of them wear T-shirts saying 'legit' on them

4. Meet a four-legged man or woman sporting a set of fly-like, compound eyes.

5. Wake up floating in a sea of mango juice. But if that were to happen, I could immedately fend off growing fears of scurvey.

6. Walk on water, unless the water is really thin, bouyant and a witch turns me into a water strider. Maybe only then.

7. Eat a gree tea Snickers bar. You know that somewhere, someone is devising a scheme to impregnate otherwise delicious green tea into a candy bar. Kit Kat tried that, and honey, it was a duh-zaz-tah.

Seven is a lucky number; so for now, ponder away.

Down at the Garage

Recently I broke and I went to the garage to be repaired.

Let me say for the record, that the other vehicles at the repair shop were in much greater need of repair than first thought. In fact, some of them looked like their warranty had expired LONG ago. One had even blown a gasket and smelled as such.

And after the garage I went to the auto parts store to be given some STP and other lubricants. The salesman offered me some fuel additives which I humbly accepted for a small sum.

I couldn't help but notice, however that the salesman had some excema-affected hands. For him to leave the hands in this condition, is dangerous for the health of his overall cutaneous layer. It also negatively affects his approachability. There were many cuts on there too, as if from a Xacto knife. Can't venture a guess what the story is there.

Bag balm comes highly recommended from Gary Ragan, my former High School metal shop teachers.

Until next time,

Nyar

Got Soybeans?

Japan's most dangerous holiday, Setsubun, is approaching.

Held in the first week of February, it takes place at Shinto Shrines nationwide. In 2006 it's being held next week, February 3th.

Participants are pelted with beans, all the while bean-throwing priests (and their understudies) enjoy the fervor:

"Oni wa soto, Fuku wa uchi," meaning good luck in, bad luck out.

Settsubun goes back hundreds of years. It's a time to stock up on good luck, and tidy up those cobwebs of bad luck.

Just remember, when being pelted, don't lose an eye or accidentaly choke on a wayward projectile bean.

Bagan and Blue Skies at Last

One of Bagan's Temple Spires piercing the bold, blue sky. After some rain, we had some sun.

Burmese People ask for things. Don’t we all…That is why I am ruled by a sweet tooth and sweet-ridden teeth. Inexplicably linked, no?

Here is a summary of what people are asking for. (And selling)

1. US Dollars. The national currency, the Myanmar Kyat (pronounced Chat) is used for some purchases such as food. However, due to the essential uselessness of Kyat outside the nation’s border, hard currency keeps the military government afloat. Guesthouses, airline tickets and most major tourist attractions require payment in dollars. Kyat, when offered as alternative to payment in dollars, nets you a terrible exchange rate. The kyat was twice devalued during the 1990s, and many investors lost thousands. The entire private Burmese banking industry apparently went bankrupt the last time this happened, in 1998. During our visit to Burma, the best exchange rate we heard of a fellow getting was 1150. At the airport, never a great rate to be had, but in Myanmar, its even more dismal: 450 Kyat to the buck. While another reclusive government, North Korea shifted its policy of dollars from tourists to Euros from tourists, Myanmar, despite decrying the US Imperialists as threats (propaganda billboards, in Burmese and English, dot the landscape) does still see the greenback as paramount to padding its coffers. Burma was the first country I visited that has no circulated coins.

2. Shampoo. Kids in Bagan, the most-touristy site in the central “dry ze” of Myanmar, seem to think visitors have shampoo packets (like those sold in Burmese corner shops) at the ready, like walking, talking cosmetics dispensers. Since most tourists are from western Europe, and many of the middle aged women I saw from such countries, did appear to be living the Barbie Golden Years persona.

3. Pens. But give them a nice pen, and I bet you they go and try to resell it to someone else. I heard a rumor the German government gives pencils to schools by the boatload, and that the program is set to expire soon. I can’t see how they would go through pencils or pens too quickly, as the school day for Burmese kids seemed to average 2-4 hours, in the early to late afternoon. And economic realities, coupled with home labor needs, means lots of kids aren’t going to school at all. I gave a few pens to charming kids we came across, in exchange for their patient information about a particular sight. Once I gave an especially cool boy a pen and a monk, seeing the pen, made a demand for me to produce a pen for him. I hope the other monk, Jealousy in his eye, didn’t take the kid’s pen. That was the last present I gave out the entire trip.

4. Handouts. I was asked for food and cash by kids, some of whom were eating some large morsel at the same time they were tagging along behind me, tugging at my purse strings. After a couple of days, most visitors learn the best choice is to give food, in moderate amounts, rather than cash. Or just nothing at all might be better.

What they’re selling…

1. Postcards. Long strings of them in plastic sleeves. Judging from how difficult it seemed to be to find a post office there, postcards are in ample supply. The pitch goes something like “You want postcard? One dollar.”

2. Lucky rocks are sold by the basketful at Mt. Popa, which is the center of mystical Burmese Nats are Fairylike gnomes who make their homes in trees. Highly superstitious, the Burmese find all possible means to not upset the various Nats. From best guess, there are 33 of them. But the aforementioned “lucky” rocks are simply rocks found alongside the road, or from location one normally finds rocks…anywhere. While the price was reasonable, 200 Kyat (20 cents or so) the girls selling them failed to realize heavy rocks are not in high demand by backpacking visitors.

3. Oranges. The particular cool/dry season fruit is the Burmese mandarin orange. And the price really varies. In Mandalay= 200 Kyat for 3. Near Inle lake, 200 Kyat for 5. On the top of a mountain, 2 for 400 Kyat. We were offered 5 for 1000 Kyat, by this unhappy punter shopstress in Kinpun (near the Golden Rock) and we told her where to cram that offer. As more and more visitors make their holidays there, the local merchants drive the local versus visitor price farther and farther apart.

4. Palm liquor and palm sugar: Both are potent and tasty. The palm sugar is all hand-rolled, so proceed with caution. The Liquor is incredibly strong. I was offered a sample at 8:30 in the morning, so there you go.

5. Dried Tamarind Slices. Tangy, tart and sweet, these were great palate cleansers. I forgot to buy a bag of them to pass around. Bummer, haven’t seen them anywhere else.

6. Cool wooden boxes, in Mandalay at the Saunder's Weaving School. Can't miss it, on the road that goes from town to Mandalay.

What they’re drinking…

Mandalay Rum: Highly potent and unstable whilst sitting on the shelf, this rum goes for 1500Kyat per fifth, which breaks down to about 12 cents per tumbler. According to an acquaintance who travels to Burma often, the stuff being sold of poorer quality than Mandalay Rum is partially responsible for Burmese men’s low life expectancy. You’d have to conform this figure, but I hear it’s at about 55 years or so. Imagine what rum costing under a dollar per bottle would taste like. Unstable, at the least.

Mandalay Strong Ale: Available in Red and Blue, this beer was my favorite, enjoyed on a guesthouse porch with fresh lime wedges to mix in with it. The Blue fails to measure up and reminded me of Budweiser, minus coldness and carbonation. 900 Kyat per 750 ml bottle.

Myanmar Beer: The government suds gave me a stomachache. There is something in it. Since I got a C in chemistry, leave the flavor analysis to the experts. I didn’t notice any Myanmar Beer in any Thai import markets.

Tiger Beer: Though Tiger is the brainchild of Singapore, it is bottled around SE Asia in a joint venture between Tiger and whatever country you find yourself enjoying it in. Hoppy and distributed in both cans and bottles, it is also good with Burmese lemon/lime squeezed in.

What Burma needs to do:
1. To invest in archeological preservation. I saw countless murals in caves and temple frescos that were almost totally destroyed or unprofessionally restored with hasty methods. I’m no expert, but the money all tourists pay to enter Bagan ($10) isn’t going to anyone but the army.

2. Open more areas for Ecotourism. Due to heavy logging, insurgencies and labor camps they don’t want prying visitor eyes to see, tourist are confined to a “core area,” which stresses the landscape and ordinary people living off sustenance agriculture are being lured to the cities, which means more people camping out at temples and haggling visitors. With no simple answers to this problem, and zero workable solutions coming from their leaders, people in Myanmar really have few choices beyond trying to cash in on visitors.

3. Stop the use of hard labor as the main means for big construction projects. The Yangon Airport and The Mandalay hotel both were using forced labor when I passed by. The folks at the hotel site (government hotels tend to be avoided because Lonely-Planet travelers read to act accordingly) looked especially downtrodden, carrying huge stones and rocks by hand.

4. Try to reign in poaching of endangered species for the Chinese market. But hey, that is taking a shot in the dark. That’s even a problem back in Oregon. Whether black bear gall bladders or Burmese pygmy deer, the Chinese love their endangered and threatened species more than anyone.

(The above assume a change at the top levels of government. The generals running the show, now getting heavy capital investment from China, Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore, see little incentive to share the power as long as they’re getting wealthier by the day. As long as the Junta remains jealous and suspicious of pro-democracy leader Aung San Su Kyi, currently under house arrest on Yangon, real change is unlikely.)

Interesting facts and experiences:
Burmese Kyat comes in denominations of K1, K5, K10, K20, K50, K100, K200, K500 and K1000.

I read about , but never saw, bills of K35, K45 and K70 increments.

And then there was that K113.78 note. Try making change for that one!

I use Burma and Myanmar interchangeably. The name Myanmar was created in 1989, when Burma became a united “union” of the 109 or so distinct tribes and peoples living within its massive borders. It’s roughly the size of Texas, making Burma the largest mainland SE Asian nation.

The spiciest pepper I have ever eaten was found in a Bamar (Burmese) noodle dish. Green and shaped like a Kris, a traditional ornamental Malaysian dagger, these things are el potento. Dig around in your noodles. They are there, waiting to kick your tastebud’s asses.

During the nightly power brownouts and blackouts, people emit an "aw, shucks"-like saying and there is often much clapping and general happiness when the power snaps back on. Myanmar nights are the darkest I have ever seen, but the developed world's belief that dark nights equal lack of safety didn't really feel that way there. It was like an opportunity to experience life in a place where the 12 hours of light and 12 hours of dark really doesn't adversely affect the daily routine much anyway.

Nayr's Wild and Wacky Winter Vacation 2005

in... The Union of Myanmar (Burma) This longer title was created in 1989.

So here are our thoughts, experiences and observations, day to day.

Day 1: Bangkok (and en-route)
The first day began with a ride on JR (Japan Railways) to the Kansai Airport, a sleek airport offshore of Osaka Bay. We dined at a sushi restaurant advertising crab. Low and behold, there was no crab left for us. I shed a tear of dissapointment for my tasty crustacean freinds and then proceeded to settle into my comfy seat on Singapore Airlines. How much do these guys spoil you? Well, how about 2 cups of Haagen Daaz, plus your own fold-down video moniter, complete with Nintendo and on-demand movies? The 5 and a half hour flight sailed by, plugged into the consul. Upon arrival in Bangkok, I had noticed a few changes since my last visit in 2003. The immigration proceedures are stricter, but yes, they still let in anyone to Thailand.

We then proceeded to our hotel, the bustling, yet tired, Ambassador. Down the lane was a great open-air Thai place, where we ate chili-laced green papaya salad, phad Thai and some nice fruit juice. As we were eating, an elephant and keeper strolled by the 7-11. Just another night in Bangkok. The Ambassador, bargain that it is is surrounded by would-be hotel high rises that are being built pretty much 24-hours a day. Earplugs, as they say, do work wonders.

Day 2: Klonging Alonng, Singing a Song

Our second day in the frenetic, steaming Kingdom's capital was mostly about boating. We met up with the missus' friend, who lives there and took a boat ride through the old city's network of Khlongs. That's Thai for canal. A couple hours' ride was fantastic, we saw neigborhoods without pavement, roads and the like. We saw nice boats, not so nice boats and even styrofoam boats. Many locals were feeding river carp, so we got to see fish thrashing about and churning the water into a mix of fin, tail and of course, pressed fish food granules. Feeding them, I assume is the proper Buddhist thing to do, as Fish are reincarnated people, just as all living things are believed to be. We said adiue to our boat pilot near the Bangkok Skytrain station and went over to the MKB mall. Inside are escalators spanning a huge void. Quite impressive architecture. MKB is smack dab in the middle of the Siam Square area in central Bangkok. We tried Thai Sukiyaki, a japanese concept of adding bits of this and a smidgin of that into a big soup pot. The thai version employed mainly seafood, and these interesting green, crunchy noodles I took to. Then, the wonderful treat of Asia books, a full-on English language bookshop that blows any bookshop in Japan out of the water. besides Powells back home, the only other bookshop I've loved was the one in Singapore, which, ironically enough was Japanese-owned. I bought a Burma fold-out map at the shop, because thats where we were headed the next day...

Day Three: Bangkok to Yangon (Rangoon)

Spoiling ourselves again, but with few options to choose from anyway, we flew with Bankok Airways on this Airbus 320 that they had purchased just a few weeks before. It had that pleasant, conforting new plane smell. In just over an hour's time, the flight crew served a big lunch, drinks and another drink as the plane crossed over into Burma. We landed at Yangon airport and we set our watches back 30 minutes. It was my first time to do so. Time zones...who came up with that? Anyway, Yangon Airport is...under construction. We were directed off the arrival bus (all the busses are old Japanese ones, and we could tell from what city, as the markings hadn't been changed.) into this arrivals hall that reminded me of some Egyptian pyramid chamber. gold-colored, dusty, hot and dry. It was interesting. Outside, we made our way into the city. We first noticed that Burma , and yangon especially, drives with mixed fuel not unlike what one pours into a dirtbike. It burns your eyes and leaves a film on your teeth.
Anyway after a few hours' siesta, we went over to Shwedagon Pagoda (Paya in Burmese) to see one of the most famous landmarks in the whole country. Though foreigners are forced to pay $5 each and ride an elevator up the stairs, we enjoyed the sight very much. The pagoda is thickly coated with gold and jewels adorn the spire. After a very cool stroll around the temple's entirety I felt a bit hungry so we ventured off to have our first proper Burmese meal. It ended up being venison curry. Not so bad, and the cut of venison was tasty, after I ignored the hairs found in the midst. The vegetable side dishes were good, as was my first sampling of palm sugar for dessert.

Day 4: Bare-bones reporting...Yangon. We went to a pagoda which featured a maze of cut glass walls, really amazing scenery. We began to figure out prices, and noticed the locals expect foreigners to bargain for everything, good or service. Ate lovely Shan province noodles, not so unlike ramen noodles, and great fried rice. Talked with a Burmese architect. A very insightful but thouroughly bitter guy. Educated people have a tough time in Yangon and around the country, its near impossible to travel abroad, and international travel permission is at the government's whim. Cell phones are also not available to the public, as are new cars, or even decent used ones. We spent this day organizing the rest of the trip. Yangon is the logistical brain of the country, at least for travellers' needs anyway.

Days 5,6 and 7: Mandalay...
The approach to Mandalay, some 530 KM north of Rangoon, was made via Air Mandalay, one of 3 private airline companies ferrying visitors around Burma's popular sights. The companies all use the ATR, a French turboprop that is quite smooth but not for us tall folk. In burma, everyone loads and deplanes through the back door.
mandalay airport, new and huge in size, isn't yet used, the planes all park on the runway and everyone takes a bus to the bag claim. That, and its' 55km from Mandalay. We got to see all kinds of countryside, plus a stop at a gnarly crafts college, en route to downtown. Compared to the smog and tension of Yangon, I found mandalay to be great. Locals were laid back, more people smiled and we got in some better dining. I was of course asked for money by many women holding naked infants. That part was tough. There was no obvious precedent on what to do. Anyhow the culinary highlight was a great indian fest at Pan Cherry, a cheerful, brightly lit place near Mandalay's central mosque. We also found, by accident, a vibrant night market. Transportation wise, we enjoyed the Blue Taxi, a smallish Mazdapick-up in which passengers sit sideways in the bed. Trisahaws didnt seem to work for us, as I am 84 KG, it seemed to be quite a struggle for the trishaw driver to negotiate the often-unpaved backstreets. So it was mostly blue taxis for us. As day trips, we took a nice ferry ride to Mingun, and a taxi to Saiging Hill, Burma's montestary center. As it was pouring down buckets of water, spiritialization was kept to a minimum. The evening of Day 7 we stayed on Monywa, with lots of cool sights, had it not been raining. We did however see this cool temple with marble tablets inscribed with aincent script.


Day 8-12: On the boat and biking around Bagan (still raining) We hired a boat after seeing that we missed the big government ferry. It was just Us, a couple of persistent blanket vendors, and the boat pilot. Built for speed, our teak speed racer took us downriver a distance of maybe 25 KM in an hour and a half. Upon our arrival in Nyaung U, the cheap digs for visitors to Bagan, we were ready to stay 4 nights at the same place. We made a good choice, and for 12$ a night, we were living like kings.


Day 13: Flight to Heho, gateway to Inle Lake. Air Bagan was much like Air Mandalay, except no crossiont or beverages. But smooth and safe. What else would you expect for 55 bones? Did try this unsually salty balled candy entitled "pizza candy." Enjoyed my first hommade Gnocci at this place advertising the best pizza in Myanmar. As usual, we were surrounded by Germans.

Day 14: Unique Superb Food House- Baman tofu curry. Delish! Met a kewl lady from Sacremento. Good birthdaytime conversation had by all.

Day 15: Kakku: spires and payas on the Pa-o tribal lands. Soccer match, yellow tofu sampling and beautiful landscapes south east of Taunggi, the easternmost point travellers are allowed to proceed to, at least by land.

Day 16: Boat trip

Day 17: Trekking

Day 18: Bus trip to Bago; 18 hours of raw, unbelievable sights, smells and sensations. Provincial checkpoints galore. Busy urinals and greasy chinese noodles. Polite french and frenc Canadien couple.

Day 19: Golden Rock 1; Tiger beer with a view. Endangered Species menu.
Day 20: Golden Rock 2
Day 21: Yangon and bangkok, Part 2
Day 22: Bangkok: shopping, Erewan Shrine, Back to Kansai

Overall thoughts and Gems
1. Breakfast fatigue. I kid you not, every breakfast offereing was eggs, toast, coffee or tea and bananas. An occasional papaya wedge was like a treasure. My travel buddy once ordered Mohinga, a teaditional Burmese soup with a heavy dose of potent dried fish. My curousity said yes, my rumbling stomach said, in terms I could comprehend, a very definiate no.

2. Money.