Ways to say "I'm going to work"

1. Off to the salt mines

2. Let's cubicle

3. Descend into a fiery hell

4. Time to visit the #$%&$-ers I'm forced to tolerate eight hours a day

5. The place I'd rather not be

6. Well, I get to avoid my wife and kids, so all is not lost

7. Plug in the game of paper-shuffling

8. Step into the world of two-legged ants

9. Win the bread

10. Pick up some free (insert your company's product here)

Favorite teacher's room behaviors

1. Hocking a greenie (usually at lunchtime)

2. Clipping toenails into the sink

3. Smoking (Thankfully they have a smoker's den for that)

4. Scuffing feet.

5. Listening to very boring speeches by the Principal

6. Spending 12 hours a day in the school

7. Talking across each other, rather than getting up and walking to the others' desk